My Dad's Imperfect Timing

Once upon a time, while visiting my parents' house and watching Family Feud...

There are perks to being a girl.

I have mad art skills.

Waiting for "The Signal"

Yeah, I've been AWOL for a bit. Lots of stuff happening in the way of man-cow patties (BS). I've been distracting myself with reality t.v. late at night when I can't sleep. I've actually gotten into The Voice, and have been staring at Blake Shelton each episode wondering why he looks so familiar... I finally realize where I've seen him:

 


I keep waiting for him to give The Signal now. *titter*

Humuhumunukunukuapua'a

I don't travel well, I know that, and good heavens I'll have to take my babies with me because I miss them when I go to the grocery store. BUT I WANT TO GO TO HAWAII SOOOOO BAAAAADLY. I love the culture. I love the music. I love the tattoos and swaying hips and booming drums. This is #1 on my bucket list. I have to go to Hawaii. I need to save up some money and get there. Yesterday! It's time!

Honestly, I don't even know what I'd do when I get there. I would definitely attend a luau. And probably take a hula lesson. I'm not a surfer. I'm not a sun-bather. I don't actually like tours all that much. I kind of just want to walk on the beach and breath in the air. Let my hair down and let it get all curly and beachy and put flowers in it. As Liz Lemon says, "I want to go to there."

I'm not a traveler, but I'm about to be. It's time to start practicing. Even if it's just an overnight somewhere in Toronto. I have to get to the point where I can make Hawaii happen for me. Well before it falls into the ocean.

It's Not You, It's Me. No, It's You, Too.

I'm kind of sad. I think I'm going through a break-up. Not with my husband - we're pretty great, actually. But with a friend who I thought I was close to and it turns out I've been kidding myself.

It's a weird situation (to me, anyway). We get along well, still talk to each other, but I don't really want to see her and she apparently doesn't want to keep me in the loop (I've been moved to the limited profile on FB). Our letters are more like tweets: short, one-liners that get to the gist. I only ask how she's doing to be polite. She does the same.

My problem is letting her go. I don't really want to, because there's a history there and it just feels wrong, but I'm happier when we aren't talking and I can tell myself that things are just like they were long ago. I also feel a twinge of jealousy when I can see she's close to someone else. See? It makes no sense. I don't need her around, I don't miss her, and I feel like a liar when I talk to her like nothing is wrong, but I just can't sever the tie.

I'm really confused, and that disturbs me. Relationships really mess with your head. Even platonic ones.

Don't read this

Each night, I'm bombarded with shop talk when my husband gets home. I decided that if I have to suffer through it, I am going to share. Keep in mind, this is just a taste. It goes on for hours. And then I get to hear it all again when he gets together with friends and family.

Dear hubby: I am here for you and happy to be a sounding board. But I need to be able to laugh about it or you're going to make my hair fall out. xoxo

Fitness, the Easy Way

Lately, I've been obsessed with fitness. I've made a commitment to work out every day, even if just a little, and I've found it surprisingly easy to keep to it (dieting, however, is another beast entirely). Not everyone has the drive/determination/freedom to set aside time to exercise though, and I get that. But exercise doesn't mean only lunges and push ups... I'll bet if you're a mother of young kids you can find ample opportunities for a great work out! For instance, just going shopping is a fantastic one:

Warm Up:
Running all over the house trying to find the keys.
Add a boost: squeeze your tush as you climb those stairs!

Arms:

Carrying a young child in one arm and a diaper bag on the other.
Add a boost: try to keep the kid at eye level, and stuff the diaper bag with water bottles and snacks!


Legs:
Bending down to pick up the groceries your child has tossed out of the cart.
Add a boost: do deep lunges or squats when picking up!

Abs:
Coughing fit ensues as you look at the price of old cheddar. Dang, that stuff's expensive!

Add a boost: Laugh heartily when your child asks if she can have the chocolate frosted sugar bombs.

Cardio:

Easy - walking around the store. No one said you have to be huffing and puffing for the benefits.

Add a boost: let your kid out of the cart. See kid run. See mom run. Run, mom, run!

If you consider getting home and putting away the groceries a cooldown/stretch, voila! Your workout is complete!

Can you think of other daily activities that double as workouts? I'd love to hear them!

A Punch in the Face

The time I have always dreaded has finally come - some kid has started to bully D1. She has been mentioning this "mean boy" at school for a while now, but last week alarm bells rang when she confided in me that he threatened to punch her in the face if she didn't get out of his way.

Now my first instinct was to find the kid and clock him. Clearly I was overreacting, because, after all, the boy is only 6. But saying out loud to yourself that someone, anyone, has threatened to hurt your child is enough to make any parent's blood boil, especially when she is afraid to do something as simple as go to her cubby.

I went through all the appropriate steps: I talked to the teacher and made sure she took the situation seriously. She moved the kid's cubby away from D1's (and her friend's, who was afflicted with the same problem). She promised to talk to the students about telling a trusted adult when they are frightened or uncomfortable. I was happy about those solutions.

... but I have to admit that I told D1 that if that kid ever threatened her again, she is allowed to punch him, right in the face.

How a Man Helps

Punchline

I always seem to walk into a room right at the punchline of a joke. People start laughing loudly at it, but it makes no sense to me! What a weird situation to be in. Do you laugh along with everyone? Do you pretend you didn't hear the punchline at all? What if you are the first to laugh, after just having walked in?