Loosen up, Buttercup.

I work in a facility that has a Social Committee. I know, gag me, too. But, in the name of politics, I play nice, pay my fee, and participate like a good employee. One thing I just can't seem to do with my coworkers, though, is loosen up.

I'm not sure what the mental barrier is, but when I'm outside of my designated work area but still around my coworkers, I shut up. I'm talking bona fide wallflower material. I smile politely, nod when appropriate, and titter at all of the jokes, even the ones I don't get. That's pretty much as far as I go.

It turns out my behaviour is not going unnoticed. My boss quipped that he suspects I may be writing down what others say in case I need it for revenge or blackmail one day. Not a bad idea, but it's not true (yet). 

Truth is, I've been under the impression that one needs to have a personal life and a professional life, and the two should never mix. I don't know where I got that from, but I've always behaved that way. Should I let my boss know what I really think of that one annoying client? Hells no! Do my workmates need to see me shake my fanny in any fashion? Nuh-uh. Do I even like these people for who they are? Some of them. I really hate the others.

Am I being shy? Yes. Am I being guarded? Yes. Am I covering my ass? Yes. Am I also a snob who is picky about who gets to see the real, nerdy me? Yup.

If you've ever heard my baby-scaring guffaw, feel privileged. You're in my good books. If not, I probably work with you.