Talk to that Bitch!

Have you ever been to a party and seen that woman with her nose in the air over her glass of wine, not talking to anyone? Me neither. Who really parties like that? Psh.

Let's start over. Do you remember that girl who would say hello but wouldn't bother with any further conversation? Remember how snooty she was, how she wouldn't give you the time of day, even though you know she noticed you because she looked right at you for a second? What a bitch.

Well, my friend, chances are the bitch is you. Yeah, I said it. I was the "snooty" girl, all through high school and even some later days. I would say hi to anyone, but conversation after that just didn't happen. It wasn't because I was a snob, it was because I was shy.

Shyness isn't all giggles and down-turned eyes. It is having your mind go blank after you shocked yourself that you even had the guts to say hello in the first place! It's making that eye-contact (bravo!) and freezing because you're sure you look like a loser and omigosh what can you possibly have in common with someone who is so comfortable with everyone?

It's taken years for me to be able to get over some of my shyness, and even now I struggle with it. I still force myself to say hello, and then make a comment on the weather. It's hard to talk to people! I'm sure I offended someone at some point with one of my comments and it ended badly, and that may be why I can't think of things to say right away. I stop talking right after I start so that I can "feel you out" (not that way, cowboy) and filter my words to be as docile as possible. I want to be your friend!

I'm not saying that all people who act this way are shy, nor that shy people can't be bitches. That's very possible. But there are some key personality differences between the snots and the timid.
If you say hello and her answer sounds like a good-bye, she's probably not looking for a connection of any kind. Shy people tend to look at you from the bottom up (since they're working up the courage to make eye-contact), while snots look at you from the top down. Watch out, though, because if she's working on the eye-contact thing, then she might look at your eyes then look down quickly. Big difference between that maneuvre and the once-over from a frigid witch.

Watch lips, too. If the bottom one fidgets or curls under her teeth, she's probably shy. If her top lip pulls back, probably not, especially if her neck pulls back at the same time (maybe check your breath if that happens). One easy way to tell that she's a snooty-poo is if you say hi and she walks away (duh). A shy person would freeze up. A snot might choose to turn, body first, and just leave.

Don't identify with any of this? Lucky you! You could do us shy-gals a favour and make it easier on us. If you're not afflicted with diffidence, then be the first to talk - we love that. Feel free to talk about yourself (you know you want to); we love that, too. Is there something you wish we'd discuss? Specifically ask about it. Don't think for a second that we are capable of holding our own in a conversation after just having met. In my experience, after meeting a person for the first time, my train of thought doesn't even leave the station. In short, be a blabbermouth for the first little bit, and we'll get along just fine!

Ah, girls, it's really a gift to be able to feel comfortable with strangers. Shyness isn't something that you have to live with forever, but it does take a lot of hard work to get over. It would be so much easier if society would just keep an open mind about new people, at least until they've really had a chance to engage a bit. So the next time you see someone with a chilly disposition, talk to that bitch! She may be one of the coolest people you meet.